Tag Archives: control

Day 12

Day 12

Do you include financial submission within the definition of your own submission and if yes, how does it manifest itself? If no, is there a particular reason why? Are you familiar with the concepts of financial submission? Do you have an opinion about financial submission in general?

No, I don’t personally.

Although I can slip into a submissive mindset at the drop of a hat, I am not Jame’s submissive 24/7. I am not anyone’s submissive 24/7.

I have seen contracts written up between slaves/subs and Masters where the slave/sub signs over all of their property for the duration of the relationship. They’re allowed to use it as their Master sees fit. I know other submissives (especially those who are married) that exist on an allowance from their Sir or Master, and that is all they need.

… I can’t exist like this. It’s a personal thing.

It’s not that I couldn’t sign over my possessions to someone I trusted… and if I belong to someone completely you damn well better believe that I trust them. It’s that I know myself well enough to know that I need a balance between my D/s life and my independent life.

Specifically, that I need some time when I am just Rena. Or I begin to depend on that person much too much. I become a burden, rather than just a chosen responsibility. I fall into a 24/7 mindset and begin to depend on them for everything. From what I wear, to what I need to do next, to what I should say to someone next… and I don’t like myself like that.

That is not to say ANYTHING against true 24/7 submissives. Those that can do it, and do it in a healthy way, I envy. Part of me wishes I could delve into the world of kink without needing any ‘off’ time.. but I’ve been there. I was that way with Kane, and it wasn’t healthy for either of us.

I know submissives who thrive with financial submission woven into their BDSM lives. It helps them budget more, it makes them think before they buy, and all in all has helped them to be a better submissive and person.. This is fantastic..

I… am not in a place where I would be comfortable letting someone else touch my finances and possessions.. Not just because I’m not someone’s collared 24/7 sub..but also because my finances are a wee bit of a mess. I mean.. it’s a normal “fuck I’m in my 20’s” mess… and while I do accept help from time to time when I find myself fucked up shits creek without a paddle, I feel like digging myself out of the financial hole is a 20something right of passage. My partners tend to be older, a wee bit wiser, and have already dug themselves out of the mess I’m in… I don’t want anyone fixing my life lessons for me. I want to do it myself. Learn from it to become a better me. If I was older, in a more stable place, then maybe financial submission would be an option… but for now it’s part of my life that is just mine, just as his finances are part of the ‘just his’ life.

I suppose time will tell if this particular kink ever changes with me. We shall see.

Yours, the starving artist

-Rena

Day 4

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Day 4

Do you switch into a dominant role at any time? If you are in a domestic discipline relationship, are there things that you maintain control over? Are you a “switch” in BDSM terms? If not, have you ever thought about it or given thought to why it’s not for you?

Honestly? There isn’t a Dominant bone in my body.

There are sassy tendons, and maybe a couple bratty cells, but no Dominant bones.

There is a woman in my kink community that goes by the name of Miss Amy. I’ve only ever seen her in a Dominant roll. She is a curvy Asian woman with more sass than I have ever seen embodied in one woman, and has referenced herself as a “six year old sadist.” Watching her scenes is incredibly enjoyable… Honestly, she is probably my favorite sadist to watch work. She uses such humor and still causes so much damn havoc with her hand, or canes, or an electronic dog collar… (there’s a story behind that). If I could be a top at all, I would be like that.. Giggling with glee as I hit someone.

I’ve spanked someone before…but not just as me.. As part of light hearted play scene in the club with other tops taking control, or because someone playfully asked me to. Would I reach out and spank someone on my own? … No. I don’t think so.

The switchiest I tend to be is as an aid for tops and Doms. I will cuff someone in, give them a few extra smacks, help tie them down..but I will not take the lead. I’m not comfortable taking the lead when I crave being the one following so badly.

I top the way I’m involved in theatre. I have helped to build many, MANY sets. I enjoy being in the background, the support. I’ve been in plays in the past, but only when the part really suited me.. I’ve never actually gone out for a part. Any time I’ve been on stage and not behind a curtain it’s because someone else guided me there, saying that me standing there would help the other people on stage.

I am at my core a submissive. I serve my Sir, who I hope to one day call my Dominant. .. I really don’t enjoy someone serving me in any way. Yup, I’m a weird one…

As for what I remain in control of, I remain in control of my own body. Things like what I eat. Whether or not I dye my hair or pierce things. How much I exercise. I may ask for James’s input on these things, especially with things that impact my physical appearance, but in the end I get the final say and more often than not he will go, “Up to you.”. If I honestly beg for his input he may give it, may, it depends if he’s in the mood for it…

Sadists. Can’t live with them, can’t get bruises without them 😛

Four days down, twenty six to go

Yours, very happily a subby,

Rena