Tag Archives: fuck


I got to go play at Daddy’s last night after work, and after a couple of incredibly stressful days.

I needed to decompress, and of course he knew that. Daddy knew about my bad days, and that I had been squirmy most of the week… Daddy lets me tease him sometimes with pretty distractions from Tumblr. Whenever I ask if I should stop distracting him, Daddy says, “don’t you ever, kitten.” And I smile. A lot.

Yesterday we were both tired. We had been running, trying to adult on both ends, and it meant that we finally got to calm down and focus on each other hours into when our date technically ‘started’. I love tagging along to Daddy errands and helping…but we were both squirmy and tired and…we didn’t watch as many cartoons as we normally do.

I was wearing big girl clothes from a job interview earlier in the day; sheer black pantihose and a form fitting deep red dress that has always brought me luck in the past. I had kept the clothing on on purpose. I knew Daddy would love the outfit, and I knew that there were several runs in the pantihose, meaning that it had lived its lfe and deserved to die an honorable death.

I found out several months ago that a meta I have become fast friends with had a fondness for sharps. This is a fondage we VERY much share. I have enjoyed knife play since before I ever identified as kinky. I’m a sensation slut, and the cool steel against skin combined with the adrenaline of the fact that it can easily slice my flesh (because, YES, I love playing with working blades) for some reason makes me absolutely drenched. My body and mind still, and I all but purr when the blade skims over my flesh. I like to share with partners, and gift-giving is a huge part of my love language.. For some reason blades are high up in the hierarchy of gifts I give if I love someone. If I give you a blade, you are a significant fixture in my life.. You mean something. Chris has a blade from me that he often beats me with. James has countless blades from me of different styles (him being an avid sharps collector himself). Ryan has received two blades from me so far as I endeavor to grow his sharps collection for all of our pleasure.

Daddy led me of the couch and through his apartment, stopping briefly to pick up one of the blades I had given him. “Come with me, kitten” he purred, sadist smile on his face as he led me to the bedroom.

He slipped my pretty red dresss up and off, setting it safely aside before spinning me and having me face the bed. I heard the click of the knife coming out and bit my lip, holding off an orgasm when I hadn’t asked permission yet.

He attacked my waistband first, making quick work of it and my upper thighs. ” Oh goodness.. How attached to these panties are you, kitten?” Apparently, Daddy had sliced through the back of them. They still stood, but my red lace panties now had a slit right above my naughty back door.

There are times when Daddy is incredibly tender with me. He holds me, REALLY holds me, cradling me to his chest while I sit in his lap or simply surrounding me with his body. He makes me feel small, and safe, and cherished, and every time he’s done it in that moment it was the best feeling on the entire planet.

This was not one of those times. All the pretties from Tumblr in the last week had been rough. Being fucked with a hand wrapped around the throat or covering the nose, or both. Face fucking. Lots, and lots of face fucking. Hair pulling. Fucking within an inch of your life. I REALLY needed to be taken, and take Daddy did.

He grabbed me by my throat and squeezed before turning me and pushing me on to the bed, so that I was looking up at him. I couldn’t see the knife anymore. Daddy was on top of me, choking me, pushing down on my chest, teasing me. I sqirmed, I cried. He made me cum, purring out “cum for Daddy” over and over again.

He moved down my body, off the bed at one point. I felt cold, cool steel between my legs and then heard the sound of lace tearing. He sliced my panties further, exposing my bare princess parts. The legs and waistband were still in tact and Daddy hesitated. ‘Oh fuck’, I thought, ‘he’s going to fuck me through the panties.

And then his face lowered between my legs. Something he has, never, ever done before… I’m 90% positive that some of the mental, ‘oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck’s became audible at that point as Daddy teased my clit with his tongue. I get eaten out once on a very rare occasion. I’m an internal girl, and so it’s not something I honestly ask for when I know a partner has talented fingers and an amazing talented cock. There was something about the image, though, of Daddy’s head between my legs when I’ve so often been between his, that caused a ripple of pleasure I hadn’t expected. It was.. hot, the image almost surpassing the act itself. Almost.

The scruff of his beard created an usually delightful sensation as he teased and taunted licking and sucking and poking and doing godde knows what while I gripped the bedding like my life depended on it and tried not to curse as I slowly came undone. I cum at the drop of a hat…with almost anything. Only two partners have ever gotten me to cum while eating me out. It’s just a rarity to me.. I’ve faked it in the long past to make partners happy back when I was monogamous.. but..fuck.. There was no faking anything last night. Daddy drove me over the edge before crawling off just long enough to cut off the last of the panties, baring my pussy completely before he climbed on top and slid inside of me, fucking me with a hand wrapped around my throat. He came close to choking me out a couple of times… it’s a sensation I greatly enjoy and ahve missed… I trust Ryan enough that I think I honestly would enjoy him chocking me out and fucking me… but part of me is afraid of squicking him out with how rough I am willing to play and how much I trust him…

Thoughts for another day.

He fucked me, thoroughly manhandling me and positioning me as he pleased. I came, and came, and came, coming undone again and again, wrapped around his cock. Daddy is good to me. He always makes sure I cum a couple dozen times when he’s enjoying his hole.

He slipped out and decorated me, making a mess as he growled out an order to come with him. I, of course, did, and was all but purring by the time he cleaned both himself and I up and crawled back into bed. He pulled me into his arms, both of us panting and sweaty, and slowly, our breathing calmed and synched. Before I knew it I was asleep, surrounded in a cacoon of warmth and afterglow.

I still haven’t figured out how. But somehow, Daddy seems to always know exactly what I need.

Yours still purring,


Two Worlds


I have hit the sex wall.

I didn’t know that I HAD a sex wall

But good Godde almighty I’ve hit it.

I am horny every fucking second of the day right now… I am so tightly coiled, so tense, that I think my Dominant could just look at me and I would come on the spot. And it would do NOTHING because it’s not his hands on me. Kane sent me a photo today after he got to his destination..and he was so sexy, and scruffy, and my badass biker boyfriend…

And I orgasmed. From a photo. And there was clothing. Nothing was unclothed.

…although he was REALLY fucking sexy.

….I have slammed into the proverbial sex wall.


I love my parents, and my sisters, and my friends and my pets here…but I need to rejoin my life. It’s been too long. This is the LONGEST I have been out of San Francisco in a year. And the longer I stay, the more I see the separation between Rena of New Jersey and Rena of San Francisco.

Rena of New Jersey is a good girl. She does not say “fuck” in front of her dad (but in front of mom it’s okay because she curses like a sailor too) because cursing isn’t ladylike. Nothing she owns is see through or sexy, and it’s all about minimizing her size, because she is fat. She eats way too much and is not nearly active enough. She loves her pets, and leaves her bedroom door open at night so her dog can sleep at the foot of her bed even though there is a strict no pets in bedrooms rule. She has a super conservative older sister that is still a virgin and will not even acknowledge anal sex as being a thing. She has one sad little vibrator that she hides in her TV stand when she isn’t home, and will not use it when her parents are home. She sleeps in a tee shirt and undies minimum, and feels dirty looking at porn.

Rena of San Francisco is kinky as all hell. She wears see through clothing and has little issue showing off her body when the parts of her that are clothed are clothed well. She is sex-positive and open, with a chest of toys and outfit devoted to BDSM play and her sexual survival. Her bookshelves are full of kinky novels, and more than two days without sexual play results in a very horny submissive. Thankfully, she has a very horny Dominant whose sexual appetite matches hers. She takes care of her cat, and has extreme guilt about leaving him for more than a couple hours (no matter 18 days…18!). She works her ass off to make it on her own and keeps herself super busy, earning her play from a lot of work. She has no shame in saying that she goes to dungeons, and that she plays on crosses and loves the kiss of the flogger. She has no shame in saying that she is poly, that she has a primary and a secondary partner, and that poly keeps her sane and balanced. She has no shame about serving her Dominant, feeling feminine and empowered when in service to him, and more herself than any other time.

San Francisco Rena has very little shame, period. She is at peace with herself and who she is becoming. New Jersey Rena is a project on hold, something left behind because she just couldn’t develop anymore.

I am so much more my San Francisco self than I ever was my Jersey self.. and while I love all of my pets equally, the amount I love myself varies radically depending on what city I am in and what stigmas are being levied against me at that moment.

The longer the parts of me are repressed, the hornier and more sexually frustrated, and then ashamed, I become. It’s not a healthy cycle..and as much as I love being with my family I am learning a hard lesson with this visit.

I can’t be here this long without a partner… without play to remind me that it’s okay to be my San Francisco self. Kink is too much a part of my life. My submissive side is just too much a part of me.

I have to fight the urge to beg Kane for play when I know he’s busy and riding. But the riding on the big fancy motorcycle just adds to sexual fantasies which just makes me horny which just makes me more worked up and…

You’re seeing the vicious cycle right?????

I don’t want to wish the rest of this trip away. I don’t want to wish the last of Kane’s trip away… But at this point no amount of orgasms is releasing the tightness in my body. I can only fantasize so much.. I need at least a voice… a face on a screen watching as I perform… something..

Okay… this time next week I will be back in San Francisco with my cat… where I can at least regain certain parts of myself that I have to hide when I’m here.

I can make it. I can make it…

If you can hear screaming, that would be me.


I want my Dom so bad T.T *sniffle*

Yours feeling pathetic,