Tag Archives: ritual

Day 25


Are there items, objects or rituals that represent or help you express submission? If not, have you ever thought of adding or being gifted one? Is there a special significance to these objects or rituals?

The collar has always been a very important object to me.

I have been owned and collared once, and the feeling when I had that day collar around my neck 24/7 was… exquisite… Yes, I want that again someday. I loved the security of being able to reach down when I was away or a few days went by where I couldn’t see my Dom and have that confirmation of “Okay.. it’s here. I’m still his. I am his… yes…” I loved being able to CALL someone my Dominant. I love my Sir, but there is so much power behind that word… I also got so used to it that in the beginning with James and I, I had to bite back using the familiar term. He is my Sir right now. He dominates me, but he is not my Dominant.

What’s the difference? For him, it’s that he hasn’t completely collared me yet.

I do wear a play collar when we go to kink events. Most of the events that we go to are ones that he is at least partially working. I love watching him work, and love being at these events with him, but there have been times where he’s been in another room or in the back and a creeper has come up to me that just… doesn’t want to go away. The explanation of “I have a partner and he’s in the back doing his thing and I usually stay out here and watch and play and then he comes and takes pictures and everyone is happy.” sometimes takes too long.. I’ve out right run to find him a handful of times when I was very uncomfortable at the club and just needed my Sir.. No one is stupid enough to try anything when he’s near me. Chair or no chair, the man can be intimidating.

The collar does help though… And putting it on has become one of my favorite rituals. We started putting it on me for my comfort level in the clubs and parties he has to work.. but the intensity of our relationship changed when the collar became involved. I am owned by James, even though I’m not owned and collared 24/7, and having a physical reminder of that, something that he puts on me and takes off… Yes, it made things more intense between us.. In a good way.

On a typical Wednesday he and I get a little time to ourselves before BaGG. Sometimes we get food, sometimes it’s just snuggles in his car then snuggles in Wicked Grounds. Sometimes it’s snuggles and spanks and squeaks in Wicked Grounds.. (I love Wednesdays). Then his alarm goes off for when he has to go to the club and set up. While he gets ready to go I get the collar out of my bag, and usually hold it up rather shy and mew…

He motions for me to come closer, and I do.. on my knees. I lift my hair (usually down and pulled back, because the club gets hot but it’s fun to get hair pulled…) and he slips it around my neck and buckles it. I very quietly thank my Sir, knowing that when that collar is around my neck I won’t be able to call him “James”. Not because there’s a rule..but because that’s where my mind goes when that collar is around my neck. And after I thank him he kisses me…

I mean really kisses me.

I mean the world spins on its axis kisses me.

Taking off the collar has a similar ritual to it. I end up on my knees and I bend my head to give him access to the buckle.. and once it is off I say how sad I am, and he kisses me. And the world spins. And I am once again reminded of what a lucky little submissive I am.

We have other rituals that are less D/s related and more relationship related… One that he started early on that continues to make me smile even when I am feeling my worst is that we always end each night by wishing each other “sweet dreams”. Another that I began in order to make him smile is that each morning he gets a selfie… usually naughty, as the goal is to make the man smile, and I do aim to please.

James and I are still really new… It’s only been a few months, and rituals develop over time. But the rituals I have now, especially the collar..they make me happy.

Yours, smiling


Day 14

Day 14

Does religion have any bearing on your decision to submit? If not, are you familiar with religious based submission and do you view it as similar to other types of submission or dissimilar.

This one is an odd question to me… I’m familiar with some forms of religious submission, where someone will actually worship their partner (literally…). I’m also well versed in sex magick, though I don’t practice.

I’m Pagan. I grew up worshipping the old ones, going for hikes in nature rather than going to church. I have a pentacle tattoo on my left shoulder blade that holds within it representations of each elemenet in their proper corners.. It was my first ink when I was 19. Many have followed, but it is still one of my favorites. I am branded Pagan for life.

My religion used to have much more of an impact on who I was friends with, what I did, etc.. I’ve gone through the whole story of how I was in a coven for a good length of time before it bit me in the ass. After that… I became much more selfish about who I shared my practice with. I still acknowledge the Sabbats, still feel their energy. I still LOVE Beltane and Samhain the most. But my practice has changed.

It’s more personal.. less open to group activities.. Something I would maybe share with my primary if he was interested.. Other than that it’s mine. It’s my way of getting through day to day life and still being able to smile. Still having faith.

It is one of the few parts of myself completely disconnected from my submissive side. In circle I am not the timid, bubbly thing you would see out at a kink event. I stand differently. My chin is held higher.. I know very well what I can do in a spiritual setting.. I know I’m a powerhouse, even if I don’t flex my muscles as often anymore. There is nothing submissive about me during ritual.. If anything I’m leading it, confidently.

So no, my spirituality and my submission do not go together and are not linked in any way. If anything, they exist on opposite ends of the spectrum that make me up.

Yours, as always


but it’s still one of my favoit